S03E05 bis

[Lorelai comes back home from a date. She sits down on Rory’s bed]

RORY: I’m sorry.

LORELAI: That’s okay. The evening started well enough – that is, until we got to the car. . .a Jaguar XJ8 convertible with a 290 horsepower engine, in case you were wondering. You weren’t? Funny, neither was I. However, he told me anyhow. He told me a lot of other things about the car, also. Like, did you know how many inches the pistons are? I do! I also know the correct oil to use for it, how to treat the leather interior, and how to load it onto a flatbed truck in case of a flat tire.

RORY: Geez, did he talk about anything else but the car?

LORELAI: Not until we got to the restaurant . . .and the wine list.

RORY: Oh no, he’s a wine-y?

LORELAI: Yes, he sniffed, swirled, swished, and did every other pretentious and borderline-disgusting thing that you can do with a glass of wine in a public place, and he did it all while describing to me the vintage discrepancies and the wood they use for the barrels in Palermo and the grape crop projections for the following year. And I, in turn, chimed in with my story about getting sick on Andre Cold Duck in the back of Peter Cutler’s car in ninth grade. He didn’t find that quite as charming.

RORY: I can’t believe that. That is one of your best anecdotes.

LORELAI: I know! So I stopped talking. He continued talking and I just sat there thinking about Peter Cutler. How was Peter Cutler? Where was Peter Cutler? Was there any chance that Peter Cutler would appear and kill the man sitting across from me talking about torque?

RORY: Was the food good at least?

LORELAI: Tiny portions, weird sauces.